Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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