im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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