Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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