I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
