your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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