Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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