Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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