We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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