i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
