its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
