I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
