grandma shit on top of the toilet
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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