just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
