I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
