508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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