too bad you live with your parents still
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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