We won't sleep together?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
