I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
