the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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