absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
