Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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