Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
