Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
