I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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