new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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