You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
