every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have tasted many bathrooms
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
