Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The ass gains better be worth it
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