Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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