About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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