Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
