Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
