eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
