then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
