About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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