I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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