I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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