woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
