sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
