The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we're making bets on your personal life
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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