We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
