remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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