So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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