her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
