I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize