Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
