Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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