Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
