Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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