We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
