just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
