And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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