I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize