That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
