went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
