what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
